Undoing Unhappy
Firstly, I would like to give a warm welcome to those who have just joined our WonderFull Living Online Community, it was great to connect with you at the Springbrook Retreat in April…
Enjoy your May article – Undoing Unhappy 🙂

Hi Everyone,
This month’s article grew from several conversations with a couple of clients who were very stuck in disempowering habits. Identifying themselves as victims and living in denial, they continued to blame others for their misery and couldn’t grasp the significance of self accountability and self care – even though both profess to be ‘very spiritual’. But I figured they wanted to do something about their situation as they both kept coming back. So with lots of patience and persistence (on my part) and lots of anger and tears (on their part) we kept going and this month they both made some major breakthroughs (I have their permission to share this)… Each recognised that their spiritual understanding had no foundation and was only on an intellectual level – they realised they had not been applying what they knew. And the most beautiful healing shifts came when they each recognised and accepted that if they are unhappy, it is up to them to change it. That’s not to say the journey back to themselves will be easy, but now that they are open and committed to changing themselves (not others) there will always be support 🙂

Living holistically (and mindfully) is not just some spiritually fuzzy concept – it’s reality and it takes effort, love, determination and gentleness – in a world of convoluted ‘rules’. It’s not always an easy path but very rewarding because it enables us to Undo Unhappy. You see, Spirituality starts on the ground – we must live it to understand it because we are spiritual beings – we can’t be separate from our own essence. When we discard spiritual truth our lives become disjointed and empty, thus we justify our behaviour and blame someone or something else. Unfortunately our conditioning has us firmly believing that happiness is to be found externally, teaching us that our worth is dependent on what we have and how much we are loved – any wonder we’re all depressed! We’ve been making ourselves miserable, searching high and low for that elusive happiness, only to realise that if we are fortunate enough to find it – it simply doesn’t last! Still, we compulsive search and search ‘out there’ for that someone or something to give us our happy-ever-after, then get upset when it dissolves… Action starts with thought so no-one is exempt from living life – but how we live it is entirely by choice (a rather bitter pill to swallow, I know). Nevertheless, it emancipates us when we understand this through personal experience, to help us to start taking back our power. The good thing about choice is that we CAN literally change our lives – our stories – for the better 🙂

We each have a story to tell – to write, produce, direct and act in – so it’s essential to keep a healthy balance between the physical and spiritual realms. If I am to BE the Star in my own story then I must DO the journey – I must play the part and walk each step with love and courage. So it would be sensible to travel light – to leave behind that which weighs me down… What we decide to carry on our own shoulders, in our own stories, is entirely by choice. That’s not to ignore our responsibilities in life but rather – to uplift the roles we play. Not carrying that which does not belong to us allows us to travel light – no-one can make me pick up anything, let alone carry it – without my agreeing to it. No-one can make me unhappy without my permission. Pointing the finger elsewhere obscures the truth, keeping us hostage to our own negative thoughts and sabotage. Undoing means learning to ‘be still’ to create and focus only on healthy and positive outcomes, as a means to raise our own vibration. When our own energy field rises and expands, we will help lift the vibrations of the world. Giving ourselves permission to regularly stand still, breathe and practice silence throughout our day, helps Undo Unhappy and helps transform and heal us. We all have wounds to heal, we all have stuff to clear and we each have to lighten our own load. To travel light (in the mind) is therefore an essential tool to have in our survival kit. Undoing our own Unhappiness is simply part of the letting go process.

Understanding that we are all actors on this world stage, we can grow from our mistakes by simply doing another ‘take’ – this way of learning is much more forgiving and therefore, doable. Transforming ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’, our roles finally become interesting and limitless! Undoing Unhappy means to change ‘why me?’ – a victim statement. To ‘why not me?’ – a Master statement. Understanding that true happiness is found within, we can start healing some of those disempowering beliefs and let go of those worldly attachments that once made us happy, but now weigh us down. If I’m the one who created my own unhappy, then I’m the one who must undo it.

Spirituality is like going on a pilgrimage, you must keep going to reach your destination. So imagine you were on a pilgrimage – you would travel light wouldn’t you, bringing only essentials? Water, food, warm clothing, maybe some protective cover to shield from bad weather. You certainly wouldn’t carry someone else’s luggage, would you? So don’t do it in life! One who is able to choose wisely and tread carefully – to remain in creative control of their own story by carrying their own weight – is one who is Undoing Unhappy! And though this may seem somewhat abstract, it’s a very real practice that helps us strip back all the masks we’ve so carefully crafted. All those complicated layers of ourselves that kept us caged in, yet built our whole existence and identity around. It’s time to let go, to let in personal growth experience that is now possible, on a soul level.

Question: Where in my life do I need to lighten the load?

Consideration: Why do I carry the load of another or find it difficult to lighten my own?

Action: For the month of May, practice keeping your load light by giving yourself permission to let go of anything unnecessary. Meditation is a great tool to keep things light and in perspective, to not get blindsided by our own anger, insecurities, doubts and fears. If you catch yourself carrying someone else’s load or realise your own load is heavier than necessary, practice placing it down in your mind – like dropping off, a heavy suitcase – and only pick up that which is beneficial. Pay attention to the lightness you will feel when you do it, then create more of the same 🙂

Happy May. Lots of love, Annemarie 🙂