Handling Disappointment

Hi EveryOne, 

Hope you’re staying warm, content and loving life…  So, here’s something to think about –

What do you do when things don’t turn out as you expected?  What do you do when your hard work is met by apathy, where reciprocity is lacking and you watch your ‘perfectly executed plans’ (and enthusiasm) fall by the wayside?… Well, one thing is for sure – change is the only constant in life! So as life’s interesting journey twists, turns and flows out of sight let faith take the wheel for a while – let yourself ‘feel your way’ through the unknown –  so that you can courageously continue on your way. So what do you do when handling disappointment (when things don’t go as planned no matter how hard you tried)?… You surrender and you let go 🙂 

Some News…

• Our lovely meditation room is ready. It’s small but very inviting. Thank you to the caring Souls who showed up to help me celebrate our peaceful haven, your thoughtful surprise was much appreciated – I felt the love) 🙂 So after a bit of a ‘false start’ we are now ‘open’ for Spiritual learning 🙂
• Trialing regular #Meditation classes – starting 1st week of July. Every Wednesday from 9 – 10am. The 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month from 9 – 10am. And Sunday mornings 9 – 10am (this is an advanced class for anyone who has completed the Raja Yoga Foundation Course and want to dive deeper into Spiritual Study and Practices)… Bookings are necessary for all classes, due to limited space (to text me is fine)… Retreats to come – in the meantime I do invite anyone who might be interested, to join us for the next Full (Super) Moon, Fire Meditation – on the evening of July 14th – contact me if you wish to come along. 
• Our indoor space only fits 12 Souls but we have 5 acres of land which we are slowly transforming into a ‘peace paradise’. So if you need to ‘peace out’ at any time feel free to contact me – if we’re around, the door is ‘open’ for you to come and wander around / sit in meditation / ground in nature / reflect in solitude / talk to the wildlife / heal – in the safety of our lovely gardens and meditation space. Please note no smoking or drinking on property.
• As always – we offer our Spiritual Knowledge free of charge (donations are welcome to help cover running costs). Anyone wishing to donate time, that’s also very welcomed, as our property will be an ongoing project for quite some time… So just a reminder – we live very basic (happily) in our caravan – as our aim is to ensure Spiritual Service first and foremost – to support anyone in need of ‘Soul Support’ (so don’t expect the Taj Mahal ok) 🙂
• To help fund our ongoing ‘Peace Project’ Col will continue to work as an Electrical Contractor out in the Community.  And I will continue as a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic Life Coach, via Zoom or in-house (don’t worry we have another donga for our office / kitchen / dining) 🙂
• And last but not least – I’m adding Tarot Readings to my paid services. So to help me strengthen my new skill (which I combine with our Spiritual Teachings) I am offering #FREE Tarot Readings until 31st July (via Zoom) to anyone who’s interested. So do contact me if you’re keen, ok. (#Virtue Scopes are always free) 🙂

Handling Disappointment 

Do you get frustrated and let it spoil your day, when you can’t get electricity or reception when you need it?  Who do you curse when you turn on the tap and there’s no water? Do you feel disappointed when someone you love behaves in a hurtful way towards you? Do you get upset, angry or sulky when you comforts aren’t met? How do you react when someone deceives you? Do you sometimes feel unmotivated / uninspired to keep giving when the world just wants to take?… To help us not get so crushed by life’s disappointments, lets unpack this.

Firstly, lets look at expectation. Expectation is the ‘act or state of expecting’ (of anticipating / awaiting) some result, some return. If we don’t get the expected results we may use sullen, angry or other retaliatory behaviours (the ‘pleasure-pain principle’) to make ourselves feel better – even if it hurts someone else. Does this mean that most humans are only motivated to do something (give) if they gain something?  You know,  we are conditioned to be result-based driven. We are taught that to show self value we must expect a return upon giving (proof I am worthy). Any wonder we use ‘justified’ disappointment if our expectations aren’t met (hence even a ‘thank you’ will suffice, if my worth is so low that I need to be validated by another human)… This belief system is toxic to it’s core – it sets us up to fail and gives me no hope as an individual – and it divides us as a collective! When we lean into expectation, we ignore and deny our own powerful Self and automatically become attached / dependent on others for outcomes and for validation – which invariably leads to disappointment – which then of course leads to blame!… When we point the finger of blame outside ourselves, we are projecting (forcing) our insecurities onto the world around us, which is abuse of power. And for many today who have no self control (weak inner power) – any power over another will do!  The world is drowning in a sea of disappointment – half are addicted to work (constantly chasing) ‘a return’ to feel a sense of belonging. While the other half doesn’t even try to get out of the starting gate, for fear of failure! Each side judging and blaming the other. Any wonder the majority show entitled and even narcissistic tendencies.

Disappointment stems from the French root ‘desappointer’ meaning ‘to fail to keep an appointment’ – how that is linked to doubting our self worth or the worth of others, is fascinating – but I guess that’s what conditioning is all about right, to keep us from our power?!… Spirituality teaches me that expectation – and indeed disappointment – are attached to ego.  And any ego attachment will result in clinging on to some kind of external reward, some kind of proof that ‘I did good’. When we forget our true peaceful, loving Self, we forget our inner power. Power to change. Power to let go. Power to rebuild… Love is to give and love is to receive – it is NOT to give and then take – it doesn’t entitle you to take (to steal the energy of another). But that is the norm today! When we forget that we ARE power, that we ARE love, that we ARE peace, we look externally for evidence that we are ok – through people, through places, through possessions and through our positions in life. But these external influences only serve to take us further down that deep dark tunnel of fear, further away from our internal light, from our beautiful Self – naturally we become dependent and co-dependent (attached / addicted) to the behaviour of another. Each is fighting for their own bit of control – when all we really want is to be loved. So let go, turn inward, and turn upward – again and again and again. Practice gratitude every single day – see the good in every situation, even if you have to look a little harder for it. And just give the world what you can – for to simply give is the reward in itself – and because it’s not transactional (no strings attached) you automatically receive 10-Fold 🙂 So trust yourself. Trust your specific Role within the ‘Drama’ of Life. Trust that the Divine Source of all Energy has your back. And surrender the rest. Surrender to the unknown. Surrender to life. Surrender to now. So rather than be bogged down in the quagmire of emotional mud, surrendering (consciously letting go) allows you to stay on your inner throne of peace. It helps you to strengthen your Power to Tolerate, and accept that you can’t change anyone but yourself. And it helps you accept that whatever is meant to be is all good 🙂

Question: What / Who disappoints you? Why? 

Contemplation: What expectation (attachment to a particular outcome) do you have of this person / situation?

Activity: Breathe and let go… Hand it over to The Divine. No matter what challenges you are facing, don’t try to control it – do what you honestly can and just hand the rest (the outcome) over, just like a Trustee… So imagine you are the Trustee of a property – you would look after it the best you could, wouldn’t you? Yet knowing it doesn’t belong to you, it lightens the load of responsibility, doesn’t it? So do the same with your corporeal body, with your physical relationships and with your material possessions. Imagine they all belonged to The Divine – and you were simply the Trustee. You get to use everything in life, without the burden This helps us let go of any fears it gives courage and determination to ‘feel our way’ into the unknown. A Brahmin quote that may help “be responsible for the task but do NOT carry the burden” (the burden is God’s responsibility, not yours as the Trustee) so hand it over!

Happy practicing everyone. Would love to hear your experiences of this.

Lots of love Annemarie