Hi EveryOne, Happy November… 

Before I go into this month’s article ’12 Powers for Healthy Relationships’ – I’d like to thank all the participants at the Leura retreats for showing such support, cooperation and commitment – your courage inspires me. I’d  like to  welcome you to our WonderFull Living Online Community and I look forward to stay connected… Also – our first Relaxation Class in Dundowran started on 2nd November – with wonderful participants. So may it continue growth 🙂                

12 Powers for Healthy Relationships…

Human interaction can be a messy business if we don’t have our own inner ‘ducks in a row’.  With life appearing to move faster – relationships are becoming increasingly difficult, complicated and enmeshed. Navigating the I and We – the You and Me – our wounding habits, beliefs and conditioning teach us to compulsively give ourselves away before we even begin.  Unconditional love and kindness step aside for obligation and appeasement. Giving becomes taking, as constant external feedback, keeps us stuck in endless survival loops – preventing us from showing our best Selves. Becoming reliant on the validation from others, we give them permission to dictate our every action as we become victims of our own stories. But it doesn’t have to be that way!…

Below I’ve demonstrated just 12 of our many inner strengths that when practiced, can shift even the most challenging of situations. But here’s the key – since our virtues are part of us, they must be applied in our daily lives. To distance ourselves from our innate qualities is to invite disaster.

1. Power to Respect – To check my own value system helps me recognise my own worth – and I must live a life equal to that – no less. When I consistently balance my walk with my talk, not only will others respect me but I will also respect others (and their stories).

2. Power to Tolerate – To know and accept what I can and cannot control. To know and accept what I can and cannot change. This way I do not interfere in the path of others nor will I allow others to interfere in mine.

3. Power to be Humble – To recognise and acknowledge a weakness, in order to change it. This way I do not judge others, as I have nothing to prove and I have no need to impress.

4. Power to Discern – To instantly recognise truth from falsehood, authentic from fake. So to not buy the rubbish of another and make it my own but instead, to spot it instantly and therefore not pick it up in the first place.

5. Power to Adjust – To mould myself around any person or situation, without the slightest compromise of my own value – and without evoking resistance in others. I need self respect and courage for this.

6. Power to Pack Up – To Pack Up (Let Go) in a second, any thoughts of waste or negativity. This wonderful power enables me to observe the ‘rubbish’ but to stay light and positive, regardless.

7. Power to Withdraw – To step back (turn inward) from any person or situation (or my own inconsistencies) to re-centre before responding. This power enables me to regularly re-set and recharge myself.

8. Power to Judge – To judge the accuracy of my own attitude – my thoughts, words and actions – rather than to judge others. Checking my self stops the need to try and change others.

9. Power to Face – To use courage in the face of adversity. This power teaches me when to step up regardless of fear and when to step back without emotional inadequacy. To know when to say yes, with love and when to say no, with love.

10. Power to Cooperate – To realise my own strengths and weaknesses as a way to cooperate with others  with love and gentleness, not by compulsion.

11. Power of Patience – To accept that there is a reason and a season for everything. To know when to take action with gentleness and when to wait with calmness. To not force any situation.

12. Power to be Present – To live consciously (mindfully) in the here and now. Not racing to the future or constantly revisiting the past. NOW is the only power we have, the utmost time when we have energy to let go and to make any positive change.

Relationships and indeed, our own actions, are our greatest teachers. Relationships are about giving (not taking). When we truly give we automatically receive, but conditioning teaches us to secretly ask ‘what’s in it for me?’ Hence, expectation is born. So I must be careful what I give birth to because I will then need to sustain it. Best I only create healthy thoughts and actions, thus I won’t expect to take from others that which I cannot give to myself. This way I can release all those I may have consciously, or unconsciously  created ‘contracts’ of giving and taking from 🙂 

Question: Which of my relationships are weighing me down?

Consideration: Which Powers do I need to practice more, in order for those relationships to change, move forward or help me gently separate?

Action:  For the month of November, choose one Power you feel will help you gain self confidence and self esteem – so to contribute to positive change in your interactions. Some will change with you, some will challenge and resist you, and others will step away – but remember – that’s their choice. As long as you stay true to you (with love) in the long run, life will become better for you. As you change, you give others an opportunity to change also, but that’s entirely up to them 🙂

Lots of love,      Annemarie 🙂

Feel free to forward to anyone you feel may benefit. If you would like to respond to or clarify any of the above, contact Annemarie at info@resoulutions4life.com. 

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