WonderFull Living Newsletter

Keeping Things Simple…

You know, when I give presentations about self change, one question in particular comes up again and again and again – “why is life so complicated?”… One simple answer is lack of presence and lack of self awareness – the result is lack of attention to our own thoughts that become our words and actions.

Whether I do it unconsciously or whether I am compelled (against my own will) – I can make life very complicated, very very quickly. My reactions and over-reactions can not only cause sorrow for everyone involved, but it can contribute majorly to stirring up the fire of anger and the negative ensuing behaviours. Misunderstandings, miscommunications, misinterpretations are all symptoms of reactions – giving rise to insecurities, self doubt, arrogance or ignorance. When we take things personally we are not present to check ourselves nor are we aware of how our attitude affects others. Too busy being upset or pointing the finger, we react in a destructive manner, hurting ourselves and those around us – when this becomes the norm we don’t even question it. Believing it’s ‘normal to react’, we stop making effort and stop looking within for ways to change it… So how do I as an individual, keep things simple, keep things calm and keep things positive?

Firstly, if I stop and breathe I keep control of my senses and therefore my actions (when we get upset or angry we forget to breathe). Allowing myself to be silent for a few seconds while focusing on my breathing, enables me to simply step away from the situation or to respond in a powerful manner.

Secondly, what if I feel hurt and the finger of blame is pointed at me – does this justify me pointing the finger back? If I do point back, does this behavior simplify life or does it create multiple complications? Understanding that someone else’s projections has nothing to do with me, I then have a choice to feel hurt or not. I can point the finger back, feel hurt, retaliate or react – contributing to life’s complicated situations – or I can keep things simple by simply letting go and moving on, allowing for a quicker and simpler resolution.

Thirdly, it always pays to check myself – this may seem tedious but in the long run it will save everyone a lot of unwanted anguish. If for example, I am faced with the anger of another am I justified in returning that anger? Is it ok for me to retaliate or react in a negative, disempowering way? Or do I simply breathe and remain calm, knowing their anger has nothing to do with me? I can ask myself – is someone else’s anger worth losing my peace of mind over? And of course, the answer would be NO! Understanding that I have a choice to react with anger or respond with clarity and love, gives me back my power – in other words, I can become part of the problem or be part of the solution – the choice is ours 🙂

Question:  What can I do to un-complicate my life?

Consideration:   What stops me from keeping things simple?

Action:   Each time you catch yourself being negative or destructive, or feel yourself getting sucked into someone else’s negativity or destructive behavior – apply a firm brake – to any reactions that might surface. Pull back from the situation for a few moments, enough to become the observer – to SEE what’s really going on. Sometimes, this can be enough to prevent a potentially painful situation from escalating. Use this opportunity to check yourself to see what emotions are being triggered within, breathe and let them go instantly, this stops us from behaving in an unconscious manner. When ready respond consciously and calmly… or simply step away… Remember S.O.S. it stands for Stop! Observe! Steer! (Steer your thoughts, words and actions powerfully or simply Steer away from the situation)

Love Annemarie