Being Yourself – Help with Depression…

If you’re struggling with depression, the following considerations may help give you some insight. Simply churn on two questions for today and write a list – or commit to setting a day aside to reflect. While writing your list – consider being honest and gentle with yourself throughout the process. Don’t get stuck on any emotions that may rise up (simply write them down).  Don’t get stuck on what you are NOT doing, or what you are NOT wanting and certainly don’t get stuck on what you think you CAN’T do, ie – “I don’t want to be depressed anymore” or “I don’t have any energy” or “I can’t change”…  Instead focus on and write down what you ARE doing, what you CAN do and what you WILL continue to do…

Q1. How is depression manifesting in my life?…  Write down your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, emotions, words, behaviours, fears and worries that are related to depression and that are holding you down. Look at how your relationships and interactions with others are working – are they easy or difficult?… Remember, a list is just a tool to help your move forward – keeping a practical attitude while writing your list saves you from getting emotionally tangled up.  It helps to sit quietly for a few minutes before starting your list – deliberately slowing down your breathing. Then when you’re comfortable and calm, write your list… It might help to imagine yourself sitting in a theatre watching a play and you’re the main actor. As an observer, you watch how You the Actor, plays the role of a person battling  depression. As an objective audience, you watch without judging – instead, you learn and study your behaviour – identifying any limiting thoughts, any disempowering beliefs, any destructive words and any sabotaging actions. Recognition is the first step to help rid myself of depression… or anxiety… or panic attacks… or anger… or violence… or abuse… or… Before I begin to look at adopting and adapting different healing strategies, I must first know and accept what needs to be changed.

Q2.  What am I doing personally to beat the blues?… Don’t include medication on this list. Do include things that you are consciously doing to conquer depression, like counselling, meditation, breathing techniques, exercise, journalling/writing, goal setting, action planning, etc… It could be as basic as a simple strategy that gets you out of bed or simple affirmations to keep a positive mind. What other things can you try?… Think outside the box – unusual exercise like hooping or juggling may help, seeking alternative self empowering techniques, like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) – anything different that you may not have thought of or not had the courage to try… Have a GO – what do you have to lose?

Having had personal experiences with depression (my own and with several loved ones) – I take the process of uplifting myself and others very seriously – so should YOU. I had become so lost and somehow I knew I had to find my way back to ME!  I really had no idea what that meant!  One thing I did know – if I were to help myself beat depression then I had to accept that I had lost control. I was no longer in control of my physical senses, I had lost my power to create positive thoughts and I was compelled to remain ‘down’ – against my own will.  How did I get there? When did I learn to sabotage myself? Lacking a sense of self awareness about my own self worth, I didn’t live my life according to my values and principles – like most, I wasn’t being my true self! I was living my life according to societal conditioning and pressures, the dictates of others and the limitations placed on myself by my self created beliefs. I had to find a way to climb out of a whole that I dug for myself!…

For me it was extremely important to work out who I was – I had no idea!  Who am I?… Am I this body, made up of flesh and bones? Am I this female with brown skin and brown eyes? Am I a mother? Am I a sister, an aunt, a friend, a wife? Am I a natural therapist, a personal empowerment coach, an author, a meditator, a public speaker, a traveler, a nomad? No… I AM a SOUL!  A Soul who plays all these roles – but I am NOT these roles! They are simply ROLES I play in life – they are NOT who I am. When I lose sight of this simple yet profound fact – when I forget who I AM – I start to identify with all the external labels I have allowed others to place on me and the labels I have placed on myself. Defining myself through these roles and living up to these labels becomes a daily struggle as I compromise and even sacrifice who I truly am, in order to be accepted. As we gradually and ever so subtly step away from our Essence – distracted by life’s cacophony – depression becomes life. Forgetting who we are, we get caught up in the external world of pleasing, impressing, blaming, shaming, controlling, conforming and simply trying to ‘fit in’ – we lose sight of our individual power and we get ‘lost’ in the world drama. Our Essence gets buried deep inside, beneath the many layers of labels, expectations and ‘reasons’.  The more attached I get to these roles – struggling to live up to them or vehemently resisting them – the more likely depression and anxiety will grow in my life.

When I become attached to and identify with my external roles, I lose my sense of self.  If I forget they are merely roles and temporary at best – I will feel less than worthy when I can’t live up to them – while experiencing loss when they no longer exist.  All physical things must come to an end at some point, so too our roles don’t last forever. Often our understanding of our spiritual identity is so distorted that we never feel ‘good enough’ while struggling to ‘live up to’ our roles, that we no longer know who we are and depression sets in. If I identify solely with my roles I will experience the pain of separation and rejection – out of my comfort zone I feel completely lost and at the mercy of the world. Today depression and anxiety are two major players in the loss of identity crisis – with blame, confusion, fear, resentment and anger taking the ruling power. If you take a quick glance throughout the world, it’s not difficult to see the evidence.  When I’m too busy conforming to or rebelling against these labels, I lose who I truly am. When I’m too busy taking on the burden of these roles and forget who I am – the Soul within – how then can I be myself?…

To remain true to myself – being myself – I must first know myself. I must use my inner powers (of which we each have many) to regularly step away from the external roles and go within – this is a powerful method to develop a relationship with myself.  When I step into silence long enough to step back from these daily roles I play, I come to see a clearer picture of ME as I begin to recognise myself – the Soul – the light within the body, the One who ‘drives’ this physical vehicle.  I realise I am not these roles but the One playing these roles 🙂