Will the real YOU please stand up

Hi EveryOne,

Before I share this months article ‘Will the real YOU please stand up’ let me share our latest news… After several issues with our Landlord and Real Estate Agent, and after only 4 months of renting in Burrum Heads, we’ve decided to move (as a less stressful option). But since this was to be our ‘home’ and meditation ‘service’ centre, it’s been tough letting go of all the hard work and money we’ve already invested (not to mention the injustice). Nevertheless it’s all happening very fast and rather forcefully so to maintain peace of mind, sometimes we need to cut our losses. Though it’s been necessary to ‘self check’ because we were allowing this one-sided situation to affect our wellbeing. And since stress management is a huge part of my pain management and since I believe there’s benefit in every situation (no matter how deep I must dig) I decided to start digging to find some positives…

Our decision to move back into our van to simplify things and lighten the load financially, sparked the first positive connection with a lovely retired couple who own a beautiful 50 acre property (where we will be living) :) And though I won’t be able to work or run programs from home (for now) our decision is already opening up new opportunities… I’m renting a small practice room to offer holistic treatments in Hervey Bay (at Holistic Healing Haven) with the aim to connect locally and to earn a regular income, as a means to continue offering spiritual/meditation programs etc. So if you would like to support our continued mission of bringing peace to the world, please visit (and ‘like’) my new Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/Resoulutions4Life. This will help us get a local following faster, as our vision of owning/running a meditation centre is far from lost – just postponed – but stronger than ever. And of course, I will continue to keep you informed :)

So… Will the real YOU please stand up! You know, with all the upheaval and stress over the last few months, it got me thinking about our precious identity and the misplaced value we hold for this delicate thing we believe we have control over. As ‘tenants’, it’s sadly all too common to be treated like second-class citizens, but it’s only when we buy someone else’s rubbish and start identifying with their idea of us, is when we give away our power. And our right! When we identify with worldly labels we disconnect from our core as we allow others to tear us down. Meanwhile we quickly sink from feeling self-assured to apprehensive. Chasing identity in a physical world is an expensive ‘sport’ – sometimes we win but most times we lose – leaving a residue of insecurity. To tie our self-worth (our true identity) to physical titles that are constantly changing according to someone else’s dictates, would have each of us believing that we are ‘not-good-enough’. Creating identities so fragile, it only takes the slightest breeze to tip the sail against the wind – shifting from happy and content, to self-loathing and self-sabotage – all because of someone else’s opinion. No wonder the world is filled with anxiety and depression.

When we believe we have lost our identity (our sense of self) we are compelled to look to others for our self-worth. Ever notice how suddenly other people’s opinions of us, matter? It becomes critical to our wellbeing that others view us in a positive light, as our confidence becomes highly dependent on external factors – how we look, what we do, what we have (ie.) material possessions, relationships, status. As a consequence, we seek approval and validation from others so we can feel good about ourselves. But when we look to others for our sense of self we give them permission to dictate the terms – accordingly, wearing a mask in life becomes a self-inflicted behaviour. Hence the ‘real you’ is completely obscured, limiting your every move and any opportunity for personal growth and happiness. Truth be told, we can’t blame others. The only way to live independent of human harshness is to practice (and practice and practice) self love, because identity lives inside each of us. Feeling good about ourselves on the inside allows us to enjoy the roles we play in our outer world (rather than be played like a puppet with the world pulling our strings). When you stop being defined by others they will stop controlling you, so that the real you can stand up! The most important relationship you will ever have, is with yourself. Your entire well-being depends on how YOU feel about you, not what others think of you.

Interestingly, the dictionary describes depression as dispirited or ‘to deprive of spirit’ – it originates from Latin depressare, to ‘press down’. A Spiritual viewpoint is no different in that, depression = ‘loss’ of our true spiritual identity (to be pressed down by the dictates of society). In other words, to press down our own essence (to conform). And our inability to recognise this has us desperately searching outside to ‘fit in’ – any identity will do no matter how much ‘pressing down’ of our own spirit. People often tell me that they don’t know who they are any more – that they’ve ‘lost themselves’ (and I too felt ‘lost’ for a very long time). This ‘loss’ can happen over a long deceptive period of time (commonly in relations with others) or it can happen through sudden and forced circumstances. So how do you ‘lose’ your identity?… Firstly, let me re-assure you that no matter how bad life gets, we can never lose our true identity (we just lose our way in the daily roles we play). Secondly, when we refuse to be defined by labels, life stops snagging us and we stop ‘losing’ ourselves. Thirdly, when we stop giving others permission to minimise our worth, they will stop minimising our worth! Fourthly, when we stand in self-respect (through love and self awareness) we reclaim our power, we reconnect with our eternal identity and we stop living in fear … Physical labels create a game of illusion – the world is ill because of our obsession with this costly game. When we buy into this game it’s tough to show the ‘real you’ to the world. Our true Spiritual identity is based on our individual essence and no-one can take away our essence, without our permission (without us giving it away). This whole ‘Landlord’ episode has been a good reminder of how easy we can be pulled into someone else’s existence (illusion), if we take our eye of the ball for even a second. How easy we can give away our power and ‘lose’ ourselves… And of course, we can’t blame them because somewhere along the line, we gave them permission!

As such, there come times in life when we need to stand up and reclaim our power (not with force or aggressiveness but with love and self respect) because we understand the bigger purpose!… Often people say “who am I to make a difference?” Well let me tell you… The real you is a beautiful, powerful, loving Soul who’s playing an amazing role. You can make a huge difference by simply remembering your true self and by demonstrating this awareness in your attitude towards life. That’s how as individuals we can silently stand up, we can show others their inner truth and we can make a difference…

So….. Do I allow others to treat me (and indeed do I identify ‘stand up’) as a ‘lowly tenant’ or whatever ‘low station’ others wish to impose on me? Or do I stand in my power in a loving, emphatic manner and show them the way?… I chose the latter :)

Question: What do I stand for (identify with)?… My own essence or someone else’s opinion of me?

Consideration: Why do I give away my power in external relations? Why do I compromise my own value to please others (to feel validated)?

Action: Every single day, practice turning inward – even if only for a few moments at a time. The more we turn inward (towards ourself) the less others will control our lives because we will be clear in our roles and what we must do. Self Awareness is about becoming aware of myself :) No longer a victim of life or circumstance but a powerful Soul who can stand up with the best of them.

Lots of love Annemarie

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