Time to Give it up!

Hi Everyone,


I’ve been working through some rather tough back-to-back situations – and with so many people struggling day in day out, some barely surviving – I thought it might be a good time to remind ourselves to give up… Give up? you ask… Yes, give up 🙂 All those things that snuff out life and cause us pain. All those traits that contribute to complications and cause a negative ripple effect. To become vigilantes of our own life and ‘take out’ any thought, belief or attitude that threatens to steal our bit of peace. When we become loving guards of our own mind and get good at ‘giving up’ emotional rubbish, we give ourselves a decent chance to ‘win’ in life. So remember this. If we don’t give up our weaknesses, in effect we give up on our strengths (and contribute to the ‘calamities’ in our relationships and connections with the world). Instead of turning inward to see what’s really going and to reaffirm our strengths, we hand over our power by pointing the finger of blame away from ourselves. We may even defame, shame or frame others (to take the spotlight of our own mistakes and weaknesses) so we can feel good about ourselves.

When I facilitate workshops I commonly hear ‘but it’s complicated’. Yes, life can indeed become perplexing even tortuous and if we ignore or deny our own contribution to any situation, we will continue to justify our own reactions and continue being a victim. Everyone loses! It’s a distorted view if we believe someone else is responsible for our happiness. But when we accept responsibility for our own reactions (no matter how bad someone else behaves) life has a way of untangling itself. Consciously shifting something within ourselves cuts the chain that links us to the actions of another, thus enabling us to respond how we would like – not how we are used to. Giving up on what others think of us allows us to act in an empowered way. No longer feeling responsible for how others live, we stop enabling them and we stop sabotaging ourselves. Rather liberating, don’t you think? So here are just a few things worth giving up on. Experience tells me it’s well worth the effort 🙂

Give up Seeking Validation / Approval

Seeking approval and validation is a convoluted and meaningless exercise. To define our worth through the standards of others not only gives them permission to dictate the terms, but we give ourselves an ‘out’ (a target to blame) only reinforcing self victimisation. When we fear what others think about us, we limit our own abilities and self sabotage becomes standard practice. The need to be liked (impressing and people-pleasing) blurs many boundaries… When we seek any kind of acknowledgement, we are seeking validation. Let go and lighten up – others will talk about us anyway 🙂

Give up Self-defeating Self-talk

We hurt ourselves and those around us when we give in to self-defeating self-talk. No matter how great our aims and goals, if we constantly entertain negative inner dialogue we will somehow find a way to sabotage our hard work and well-laid plans. Worst still, we will justify and project and blame because we start believing our own spiel! There is never a good reason why we should minimise our own worth. Stop it, you’re better than that!

Give up Limiting Beliefs

We become what we believe we are – that’s it in a nutshell. ‘I am strong / I am weak’; ‘I’m a survivor / I’m a victim’ – either way, what I believe – I will be ‘right’! A distorted view can perpetuate cycles of violence. Stop believing that you can’t and start believing that you CAN! If we don’t change the underlying beliefs that drive a particular behaviour, they will undermine our willpower and hijack our intention – again and again and again… Change your beliefs and you WILL change your life. It’s time to shine 🙂

Give up Toxic Relationships

Toxic relationships are just that. Toxic! A dangerous playground. Lets not define our worth with our relationships. There’s no rational reason to hang on to those who stifle or sabotage our growth, who poison us against self love and destroy any self progress we’ve strived so hard to attain. Silent toxins borne through ignorance and denial of our own ‘stuff’ permeates the atmosphere and slowly kills off any chance for healing. Don’t give others permission to make you doubt yourself – if you do, you can’t blame them!

Give up Expectation

Give up on living your life according to others expectation (it’s a chain in the link of approval seeking) and give up your expectations of others… This is an arena where complaining, judging and criticising is rife! The result? Disappointment and fear. Give it up!

Give up Blaming

When we stop blaming others for our own mistakes or weaknesses – and for what we have or don’t have – life un-complicates. Blame is toxic, it destroys any chance for reconciliation. Any wonder relationships are complicated and messy. Blaming keeps us stuck in the mud of our own narrow, limited thinking. It keeps us bogged down and destroys relationships because it won’t allow change to happen. Stop blaming and just get on with it!

Give up Excuses

Be careful, our excuses become very real to us, very quickly. In a blink of an eye our excuses have instantly become ‘real reasons’. Blaming others gives us ‘reason’ why we will or won’t do something. We will justify, rationalise and over-explain to not only convince others but to convince ourselves – though we’re just kidding ourselves. Time to get real.

Give up the Need to always be right

We don’t always need to be right! Sometimes peace means to simply be silent. Peace is more precious than being right but for many, the compulsion to be right (at any cost) takes over. Life’s too short. Give it up!

Give up the Need for Control

Being willing to let go of the need to control everything that happens ‘to you’ and around you. The only thing in life we can control is our own mind – and most of us can’t even do that. When we become Master (through discipline) of our own thought processes we will save ourselves (and others) a lot of pain because we let go of what we can’t control! Allow it to just be.

Give up the Past

Stop looking back, all you’ll succeed in is getting a stiff neck and possibly cause a crash. Face forward, pay attention and keep your eye on the ‘prize’ (your aim)! Trust that you are loved and supported. Onward and upward!

Give up Resistance to Change

Our own suffering is commonly due to our own resistance to change. We can justify, rationalise, complain, blame, criticise, manipulate and twist things all we want – when we resist changing ourselves (expecting others to change first) we complicate life. LET GO! The Law of Change holds that change must and will happen. To resist it means to resist life, thus creating unnecessary pain for ourselves and anyone in fall-out proximity. Stop resisting, life is much simpler (and more enjoyable) when we flow with change.

Give up on Giving up

Never quit! Just find another way. Giving up on our own wasteful limiting thoughts, words and actions is one of those ways – a powerful way. It helps us to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and just keep going. Onward and upward 🙂

Question: What weakness would I benefit from giving up on?

Consideration: Who would benefit from me giving up this weakness?

Action: Give it up! Let it go! Become your own vigilante. Regularly check yourself to keep yourself in harmony with your higher purpose, it will keep you in harmony with the world. The more you check and change yourself the less you will complain and the less others will bother you 🙂

Love Annemarie

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