In a world filled with greed and narcissism, it is easy to become complacent about self responsibility. How do I take care of myself without it costing others and how do I support others without it costing me? When we lack self care we become careless and everybody loses. Unable to feel our loving selves, we become emotional and react negatively to the world around us. It’s almost impossible to remain consistently happy and sustain harmonious relationships when we forget who we are. This tug-o-war makes it extremely difficult to create healthy interaction with others and to feel grateful for each day.

A growing culture today favors a ‘get what I can when I can’ attitude – competing with an outdated cultural belief of ‘taking care of myself before others is selfish’. Neither culture presents a healthy outlook on life. Narcissism and Martyrdom are 2 faces of the same coin and they both stem from the same emotion – fear, not love. This fear manifests itself through arrogance and ignorance, preventing us from recognising this ever-growing power struggle we get drawn into on a daily basis. Each busily creating our own little comfort zone and fighting anyone or anything that may expose us. How do I as an individual, remove the anguish of needing validation (‘don’t deserve’) or needing to control (‘mine’) – without giving or taking sorrow? How do I transform any outdated beliefs of not being good enough or those deeply ingrained habits of wanting control over others? How do I sustain self love and self sufficiency when I don’t know what I am worth?

When we are caught in a trap of self deception based on society’s expectations, it’s understandable that we repeatedly under-value or over-inflate ourselves. How can we create and sustain healthy relationships when we fluctuate between conforming and controlling? Labeling ourselves and others – equating our worth in monetary terms, creates complications in life on many levels. When we compromise our core principles, we instantly lose value and therefore power. The consequences are often immediate – our mental health suffers and our happiness instantly disappears.

At the start of any flight, attendants demonstrate how to apply oxygen masks and life jackets – emphasising application to your self before applying to others. To heed these instructions means to be part of the solution instead of the problem. It means to understand my right and my responsibility for self care. Ensuring my own safety is essential to make genuine aid for others possible. How can we help anyone when we are unconscious or drowning?

Taking care of my own well-being – cultivating a positive outlook on life – must be diligently practiced, if I am to bring about change without invoking resistance in others… Truth means to constantly check and change myself first, whether anyone is watching or not.

I can simply start by focusing on and judging the quality of my own thoughts, words and actions – not those of others. I can then deliberately plant healthy, strong, uplifting thoughts – while weeding out the weak. Constantly wearing your own life jacket of self respect and self discipline is to apply emotional 1st Aid to the self. It stops unwanted, limiting, negative, even destructive behavior and life opens up. 1st Aid can be a very practical, life-saving application. Being this practical in your mind, helps change negative into positive, disempowering into powerful … and everybody benefits 🙂

Question: What thoughts are you planting in your mind? Saplings that are weak and fragile or ones that are vigorous, healthy and abundant?

Consideration: What stops you from transforming weak thoughts and actions into strong, healthy ones?

Activity: Pay attention, regularly stop to breathe and become present. Do a quick scan of your thoughts – don’t waste time questioning or judging them. Turn any limiting thoughts into limitless ones, then take deliberate steps (no matter how small) to confirm those powerful thoughts – bring them into reality through your actions. This is to apply knowledge practically – discarding outdated, limiting beliefs and habits so negative emotions no longer have a home with you. This leads to victory, success and constant happiness.

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