Compassion means to be able to remain sweet and loving when helping and supporting others, even to those who defame or insult us. It doesn’t mean to be kind and helpful only to those who are nice to us. If someone behaves angry towards me,  compassion means I am able to remain silent and give them ‘flowers’ – it means to not give or take any type of sorrow. It means to see the bad behaviour but understand that they are not in control of their own instrument (their mind and their body), but to send them love anyway because I have enough love for myself to not take on their rubbish.

I just returned from Cyclone Yassi affected Mission Beach. Having loved my many stays here before, I instantly picked up on a heavy energy hovering over the small seaside town – a feeling of indifference. Unlike Tully, Cardwell and Townsville – the people of Mission Beach appear not to want to move forward emotionally.  Speaking to some locals,  my feelings were confirmed. It appears they don’t want help because they don’t want change, instead they are compelled to wallow in the past – breeding negativity.

Anger, anxiety, self pity, depression etc stem from fear – this lack of self awareness, leads to a lack of love and compassion for the self. Negativity is a learned behaviour it’s not our natural state. Fear can debilitate us or can dictate a justified feeling of trying to bring others down with us. If  this attitude is not kept in check, a compulsion grows and an addiction to that behaviour ensues. If I see a Soul is out of control and I react to their behaviour rather than respond with love, I’m not showing compassion for myself or for them –  I would be of no benefit to the situation. What I succeed in is handing over my power, adding fuel to that already raging fire or perhaps even the tiniest spark.

Sometimes reacting is much easier then to remain silent, however that’s simply a sign that the anger of another is stronger than my power of peace. Their anger for example, serves to remind me that I need to work a little harder to strengthen my peace, rather than to give-in to their negativity. It means to focus on my own thoughts and actions and remaining clear in my intentions. It becomes all too easy to overlook my own needs when taking on the rubbish of another, to collude in their behaviour or in my pursuit to help them.

Many road signs in Mission Beach indicate they care very much for their beloved Cassowaries, but seem to have forgotten to care for themselves.  Townsville is blooming yet Mission Beach feels like it’s quietly withering away. We cannot help others if help is not accepted – that would be taking away their right. I decided to donate a a few copies of Will to Wonder to the local library, which was greeted with a rather sombre yet surprised reaction.  I was not affected as I had no attachment to any outcome, it was a simple token and a means to help transform negative into positive. True compassion simply offers a merciful hand… the rest is up to them.

Compassion means to show detached support, unconditional love and accurate judgement and discernment – in other words, to help another I must always remain cautious to not be affected by the situation. It means to care enough to throw them a rope of safety and care enough for myself to not get dragged into the ‘quicksand’. It means I remain on solid ground and stand firm in my power of self respect. Understanding their right to choose – to take the rope or not, to accept help or not – enables me to let go of the outcome . We can never enforce our right on another, nor must we ever compromise our own rights in the process – not even a little. If I do I will risk becoming a martyr or justify my own reactive behaviour – I become part of the problem instead of the solution.

Question:    Do you jump in the quicksand to ‘save’ others?
Consideration:    Why do you jump in… What stops you from remaining on solid ground?
Action:    Check your own attitude, intentions and motive when helping or reacting to others.  Change negative into positive without enforcing your right on another and keep moving forward. Never justify… make effort instead. Ensure your own safety and wellbeing to enable proper assistance to others 🙂