What’s Your Mantra? WonderFull Living Newsletter

Hi Everyone, Happy Spring.

Before I start this month’s topic What’s Your Mantra, just a couple of news items…

News Item 1… I will be in Leura (Blue Mountains) at the Brahma Kumaris Retreat Centre in October to facilitate 2 retreats. For those who wish to join me, here is the link to book – http://www.brahmakumaris.org.au/events/events-in-nsw. Click on ‘Blue Mountains’ on the right of your screen, then follow down and click on individual event to book. Here are the titles of the retreats.

> Title: Stepping off the Emotional Rollercoaster. A day retreat on Thursday 20th October 10am – 4pm.

> Title: Breaking Free through Spiritual Self Investment. A weekend retreat from Friday 21st Oct 7pm – Sun 23rd Oct 2pm.

If you have not been before you can check in from 4pm on the Friday – first meditation starts at 7pm. Bookings are essential for catering / accommodation purposes. Please note retreats are offered free-of-charge – though donations are most welcome to cover running costs – our time as facilitators is offered for free. So please be courteous to others – if you book a spot but can’t make it, remember to cancel. A lot of preparation (food, volunteer staff etc) go into each program, when people book but don’t turn up, not only do resources get wasted but those on the waiting list also miss out. Thank you in advance for your cooperation 🙂

News Item 2… After 6 years of Gypsy life we are basing ourselves in Childers (Bundaberg Region) where we plan to open a healing/meditation centre in the next 1 – 2 years 🙂

Now for this months article

What’s your mantra?…

Last month we looked at things to give up for our own good and for the good of our relationships with others – those thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that are destructive in nature and tend to sabotage our best intentions… This month I want to dig a little deeper into the inner scripts or ‘mantras’ (that self-defeating self-talk) that keeps those disempowering beliefs and attitudes alive (even thriving) – often at the detriment of our goals, relationships, health and wellbeing.

Our actions and indeed our inner scripts (or mantras) always start with a thought – our thoughts are the seeds of our mantras that if left unchecked will spill out into our actions (into everything we do). If our thoughts are negative our mantras and subsequently our actions will be destructive. And it all starts with one single thought – one, then another and another and another – strung together to form inner sentences, consequently becoming our scripts. When repeated like a mantra (though often unconscious) naturally they will find their way out of our mouth and into our life – it would be naive to think they won’t… So if you’re unhappy with your current situation may I suggest you dig deep and check what your mantras are. Truth is, we all have at least one mantra tucked away in the deep recesses of our mind quietly wreaking havoc in the background – i.e. ‘I can’t’… ‘It’s too hard’… ‘I don’t deserve’… ‘I would if I could’… ’It’s not me, it’s them’.

As I’ve mentioned many times before – thought is energy – and at the risk of boring you, I continue to repeat this one point over and over because as humans we have forgotten and need reminding of this seemingly small but essential point. We have become so disconnected from our Spiritual self (our essence) it’s easy to overlook our inner power, preferring to believe that we have no power. Missing this point leads us down a negative path littered with disempowering mantras, leaving us no choice (or so it appears) to blame others. The more we remember and accept ourselves as Spiritual beings of energy, the quicker we start to identify our thoughts as part of who we are (that we are the creators of our own thoughts). This ‘minor’ shift enables us to start directing our thinking (and thus our lives) in a more balanced and harmonious way. Negative thinking and disempowering mantras are addictive habits that can prove difficult to break, though not impossible! At the same time, if we learn to habituate positive thinking and empowering mantras as our right, then self-change doesn’t need to be so daunting. So the good news is anything negative has a positive – it’s a matter of choosing your platform. Once we choose happiness – the decision to apply positive, life-affirming mantras must be firm. Then simply doing it over and over will insert this wonderful new way of being, as negativity and self-sabotage drops away bit by bit!

When I facilitate workshops we often delve deep into this area because it’s the realm of misinterpretations, victimisation, judgements and blame. These beliefs and attitudes hold us back – blocking our many creative talents, abilities and significant beauty. We undermine ourselves and start believing our self-created mantras, justifying our position as we try to convince ourselves and others. But don’t buy it! Don’t sell yourself short! Being aware of how our ‘secret’ mantras (which stem from irrational emotion) stand in line to defeat all our well intended actions, helps us change the way we conduct our most important dialogue (inner talk). We must change that inner dialogue as a means to change our outer situation – it’s not up to others – though at times it would be easier to believe that 🙂 So here’s another key point. Giving up our harmful mantras is made easier when we replace it with something positive or else, instead of focusing on what we need to do (change) we become hyper-focused and stuck on what we don’t want to do (self-destructive). For example, we may not be all that interested in lets say, donuts. But when we start dieting, donuts magically appear everywhere – we may even start craving them. So we need to replace it with something healthy that we can actually enjoy. Otherwise, what’s our mantra?… I can’t have that… It’s not fair… But now I want that… I won’t be happy till I get that… Get my drift?

I used to hang around people who regularly put themselves down (and if not themselves, then those around them) – a toxic environment… They would say things like “my life is in the s—house” and “life’s not fair” (woe is me). I knew it wasn’t helpful to repetitively think and say these things but I didn’t necessarily see them as destructive ‘mantras’ at the time. However, as a past ‘rescuer’ I did feel their draining affect but didn’t know how to stop it. The more self aware I became the more I realised just how many (including myself in the past) carried secret, self-deprecating mantras that brought us undone in our lives – again and again and again. I recognised how destructive it was when we gave in to them and though we may rationalise it away, we cannot deny that it has blocked us in some way throughout our life. I knew I had to change it for myself. I knew I couldn’t remain a victim of circumstance forever, but I’ve had to really work at it (and at times still do). We can all use the excuse of a tough childhood (mine was no picnic that’s for sure) but we can’t stay stuck in it, we can’t let it define us because it’s not who we are! Life is too beautiful to stay down. Self-destructive mantras can not sustain a happy and productive life. We are Spiritual Beings ‘doing life’. We are most satisfied when we are doing something (when we are creating and producing). After all we are the Creators and Producers of our own stories. But when we mistake this aspiration (to create and produce) with the need to ‘achieve’ according to someone else’s (society) standards – voila, we have someone or something to blame and complain about. When we complain incessantly, that’s our mantra – while ‘life’ conforms to prove to us ’right’… When we blame incessantly, that’s our mantra… When we victimise ourselves incessantly, that’s our mantra… It’s destructive because it drains us of our power, of our ability to live our life fully and of our spiritual beauty. Worse still, we drain our relationships and push away those we love.

You know, every situation has benefit (even if we have to look real close to find it). For example, we left Coral Cove and went to Rockhampton for ‘promised’ work (it didn’t happen). Then we went down to Brisbane for ‘several month’ of work (the work lasted less than 2 weeks). Then Sunshine Coast (again nothing). Yes promises were made but we cannot blame others for our situation (we bought someone else’s empty words and made them our own through having expectations). It was now infiltrating and affecting our relationship. So we had to step back to ’see’ what was really going on… So we ‘checked and changed’ our own mantras and needless to say, here we are in Childers… And though work here is still slow, our energy has shifted enormously because we decided to do something about it. We took responsibility for our own mantras and we are once again drawing people to us who are genuinely able to assist us on our journey. I now have an opportunity to work as part of a raw health-food store in town a couple of days a week (offering what I do best, natural therapies and self empowerment). I start Monday 🙂

The moral of this story? If you’re blocking yourself, learn to get out of your own way by regularly checking and changing your mantra…

Question: Am I happy in my life, am I happy doing what I am doing? If not, why not?

Consideration: Have I considered my own mantras as a possible contribution to my own unhappy situation? Or do I find it easier to ignore it, instead preferring to point fingers away from myself?

Action to take: Whenever life is not flowing smoothly for you, stop and go within. Check honestly what you are telling yourself (what thoughts are you creating? what beliefs are you feeding? what attitudes are you ignoring). Take a deep breath and let it go (do NOT beat yourself up). Instead, congratulate yourself for your courage. Then change your mantras. Keep doing this till something shifts… Then do it some more 🙂

Lots of love Annemarie