Make Discipline Your New Freedom!

Hi Everyone,

As we start the second half of our year, it’s a good time to Make Discipline Your New Freedom. And here is a gentle reminder – you get out of life in direct proportion to the amount of effort you consistently put into your own personal development!… I put a lot of time, thought and energy into my own growth because I’m aware that it takes discipline to create freedom in my life. I also feel the best gift we can give anyone is our own personal development. This doesn’t mean I always get ‘it’ right, it just gives me an aim to work towards – a purpose helps give meaning to life. Sharing what I’m constantly learning about living life, through my free newsletters, represents one part of that aim. You see, the invisible wheel of life has to keep turning, that’s life. It’s just one of many cycles at play, all around us. If we don’t learn to roll with life we get trampled by it. And getting trampled makes us bitter, giving ‘reason’ to blame, complain and resist change. But all it really does is keep us stuck in victimisation. It projects. It judges. It criticises. It points fingers. It denies. It fears. And it perpetuates a deceptively silent cycle of violence… It serves no-one!

So lets go there this month. Lets go to that place that most don’t want to go. Lets have that conversation most find too uncomfortable to have. Lets do it with the aim to start reclaiming some of our individual power and free ourselves from fearful emotions that drive us to utter entanglement. Lets visit that paradoxical place that lives somewhere between discipline and freedom – that turning point. Lets get real with ourselves…

You know, I hear a lot of people talking (a lot) about change. But only a handful will actually DO something. Only a small minority have the courage to look into themselves to check what inner changes they can contribute to the world. People chase happiness, freedom and peace out there – retreating at the first challenge – unaware that what they’re looking for is within. Many don’t even try to make it out the starting gate – the fear of ‘failing’ stops them from having go, unaware that to have a go at something is not failing – it’s just having a go! And many others still, insist that it’s others that need to change – that it’s not up to them…  Why? Why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we do it to each other? Why are we so afraid to grow or let others grow? Why can’t we be happy for one another – for someone else’s achievements and successes? Why do we insist on believing that others have it easier? Why, do we choose to see the negative when there is so much beauty in the world? And why do we perceive that self change or personal development or the road to Spiritual growth, has to be difficult? Why do we dislike discipline? When we recognise that we have the power to choose our life experiences, we start choosing wiser and discipline suddenly becomes an ally – the why’s? turn into why not’s?! 🙂 To choose ‘healthy’ and make decisions based on healthy outcomes, life starts to change almost instantly. A better and simpler and freer life, becomes possible. So lets discipline ourselves and start by giving up some of those weak beliefs that undeniably bring us undone – again… And again… And again… Decide to drop those destructive thoughts out of your daily routines… Then drop them out of your daily routines! It’s as simple (or as hard) as you make up your mind for it to be. It’s like turning a switch. Make up your mind to enjoy life. Then just enjoy life 🙂

You know, when we help ourselves (not in a selfish way but in a self-worth manner) help is automatically received because our self-help attitude benefits everyone. It’s just the way life is! Not when we do just a little bit with an instant expectation attached to that effort, but when we practice self-care through self discipline to set ourselves free. If we want others to cheer us on we must cheer ourselves on – others can’t believe in us if we don’t. Therefore understanding the importance of self-care, makes discipline easier to imbibe. Demonstrating self discipline inspires and uplifts because it shows commitment to the cause and shows transparency about how it will benefit everyone. Demonstrating self discipline, points the way for others to inner freedom because it shows that it’s possible.

Denial is a terrible place to live! It’s a path that leads to toxic and often, destructive relationships. When we learn to live life with purpose and meaning – with everything and everyone – we switch on our creative side, enabling us to enjoy life’s beauty. So much beauty is missed each day because we fear looking up – then blame, judge, project or criticise anything we cannot face in our own personal situations. When we stay disciplined in our attitude towards life, we start moving towards inner freedom! This is how we put life back into life! So never be afraid to have a go and stop worrying about what others will think – they’ll talk about you anyway 🙂  When we stay stagnant in our life (because we don’t believe we can change or because we rationalise that our changing will ‘upset’ others) we will always find a ‘reason’ to not do it. Furthermore, we will always find something negative about what someone else is doing. When we stop ignoring or denying our own power and we stop projecting our weaknesses onto others, we begin to learn what freedom is all about. We stop seeing our amazing life journey as hard, we get out of our own way and we start doing life easier. This is freedom – freedom from being enslaved to the dictates of others and freedom from being enslaved to the dictates of my own weaknesses!

When I walk, I usually walk at a reasonably fast pace because if I walk slow it hurts more. To an observer I may even ‘appear’ ‘fit’. Unaware of the chronic pain I’ve nursed over the last 7 or so years, many sit in judgement. Yet they don’t know me or my life! They don’t know my painful mornings, the sleepless nights, the regular flares and bouts of fatigue, depression and anxiety. They don’t know the years of discipline and determination. I can stay in bed and feel sorry for myself, and become overwhelmed or frustrated or even angry. Or I can just breathe and let go of control. I can clear my ‘view’ so I can see the beauty in this moment in time – this time of healing. Meanwhile I use my power of discipline to keep moving forward. And even though there is pain when I exercise, the cost of not exercising is a price I’m not willing to pay. I’m here to tell you that discipline works. Any kind of freedom in life starts with a clear attitude, discipline helps me attain that. When I run workshops, discipline invariably surfaces (and so do many excuses). But when we discuss it and consciously work on letting go of all the ‘reasons’, they become aware that no ‘reason’ is worth compromising their own wellbeing. A feeling of lightness is experienced in the room as they start recognising their own abilities and the many possibilities awaiting them! We can help others by simply sharing our individual stories. My story with chronic pain and how I use a positive attitude to manage it as natural as possible, seems to give others courage to just have a go. We can create a daily battle for ourselves which is fearful and exhausting, or we can live and learn and accept and love and let go… If we truly want to experience freedom, helping and changing ourselves must become the grass roots of our life stories.

The more disciplined I am with my own self development the more focused I become and the more freedom I experience in my life. This practice enables a positive attitude towards any situation, thereby making life simpler and definitely more enjoyable. Grateful for what I have and what I can do, prevents me from getting stuck on what I don’t have or what I can’t do. This is how I become part of the solution instead of remaining part of the ever-growing problems in the world. I commonly hear ‘but it’s so hard’ ‘so complicated’. Perhaps when we stop focusing on the hard part and instead focus on the benefits we receive when we improve ourselves, it may not be so difficult after all 🙂

Question: How disciplined am I with my own personal development?

Contemplation: Do I take 100% responsibility for my life as it is today? If not, why not? What ‘reasons’ are there?

Action:  Write up a small list of things you want to do (if you were free to do so). Choose one that you know you can realistically complete, by practicing discipline. Write up a simple mind map to map out your mission (your action plan). Beware of any pitfalls (weaknesses) by ensuring you have a list of strategies to help you work through them. Be sure to tick any step completed – this gives you encouragement and helps you stay on track 🙂

Stay well, Annemarie

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