ComfortZone

Hi EveryOne,

Effective listening is a skill, an art, essential for effective communication. And effective communication is essential for healthy relationships and interactions with others. How often have you caught yourself not really listening or paying attention to what someone is trying to tell you or caught yourself ignoring your own inner voice that’s calling out to you to pay attention? Whether it’s others or whether it’s our own voice, paying attention through mindfully being present is powerful. It can make others feel important and it can cool down any potentially heated situation, in a second. In a world where distractions are rife truly listening to someone, or to ourselves, is such a wonderfully precious but rare gift.

Our 46th Power – Power to Listen…

To listen with silence is a powerful art,
it keeps us focused and sets us apart.
Making others feel special is a wonderful skill,
so make inner discipline your daily drill!.
Everyone loves it when they’re being heard,
It stops many lines from becoming blurred.
Heated situations can then be cooled down,
transforming a smile from an angry frown.
Meanwhile to hear your own voice ring true in your heart,
brings self control to navigate your own life chart.

** The Power to listen is the ability to truly hear. Not only hearing what others are saying but mindful to what my own inner voice is trying to tell me. It allows me to be present to the nature of life and act powerfully in accordance with it, not in spite of it.

** I am the ear. I listen and I hear with great attention and intention because I am present. Regularly practicing silence of my mind allows me to attend to the needs of others, without compromising my own needs.

** Supporting Virtues: Silence, Intention, Presence, Clarity, Attentive, Cooperative, Discipline

Tips:
1. Regularly practicing silence of our mind prevents waste thoughts from creeping in, allowing more focus and enables true attention to what’s really going on – inside and out.

2. Meditation helps with inner discipline. The more disciplined we are internally, the more freedom we experience externally (yes, a paradox indeed but powerful nonetheless 🙂

3. The difference between silence and noise may seem obvious but to consciously listen to the difference is a profound practice. We can pick up on subtle cues that we otherwise miss.

Questions to churn:
1. Do I really pay attention when others are speaking to me or am I too distracted or ‘busy’?

2. How often do I interrupt others, finish their sentences or make assumptions based on what I think they’re going to say?

3. Do I listen to my own inner voice or do I ignore it? Do I look for distractions so I don’t have to hear it?

Today listening is a dying art and it’s felt across the globe. No-one is immune to it, it’s destructiveness crosses all boundaries – culture or age seems to make no difference. For example, living on the road for five years now (and also having done this fifteen years ago) it’s clear that the ‘grey nomad’ culture is rapidly growing and it’s becoming somewhat of a fashion statement. It’s attracting many who would not normally travel in this manner, not because they really want to explore life on the road but because it just seems to be ‘the thing to do’. Fashion statements never make any sense, everyone tries to fit into it even if the ‘fashion’ doesn’t ‘suit’ them – and no-one wants to hear otherwise. Fifteen or even five years ago, if you saw another camper, you would stop and chat, or at the very least, wave (but I guess it wasn’t fashionable to be a ‘gypsy’ back then). Now only a few who are genuinely comfortable with their lifestyle choice will stop and have a chat. But an overwhelming majority won’t lift their heads or look your way, let alone, stop for a chat???? So I’ve taken the opportunity to practice this power, to try and hear what’s really going on with them. Overwhelmingly, fear is an emotion that I am tuning in to again and again. Fear of what? Comfort zones! The majority are doing it out of compulsion not out of joy, so they create ‘comfort zones’ wherever they go. They judge or compete with others (no different than they would do at home) and are drawn to others with the same mindset. So let me not judge them, even if they feel a need to judge those who don’t appear to ‘fit’ into their comfort zone 🙂

Fear is such a terrible emotion, it destroys any opportunity for effective communication. Observing silence of my mind has stopped me from creating waste thoughts about conformity, instead I’ve been able to turn some uncomfortable situations into more pleasant ones. As such I have saved myself a lot of time and unnecessary frustration while giving others an opportunity to change also. By remaining open and listening, I ended up having some interesting conversations with some folks who initially would not look our way. One thing I learnt about myself is that even after all the years of practicing meditation I can still become irritated by the arrogant and ignorant. But fortunately I now have the skills (through continuously using my Powers) to breathe and listen and not take anything personal 🙂 The more silent I’m learning to be, the more I’m able to truly listen. And the more I hear what others are actually saying, the more accommodating I am of their fears and the more tolerant I become of their behaviours, without judgement and without losing my own value 🙂

Happy listening everyone, lots of love Annemarie

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