WonderFull Living NEWSLETTER – May…
ChangeYourMind

Change Your Mind to Change Your Life…

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used,
when we created them” Albert Einstein

If you’re feeling frustrated because after all the effort you’ve made, nothing has changed in your life – still engaging in toxic relationships (different faces & places but same ‘stuff’), still haven’t lost/gained weight, still smoking/drinking, still broke, still depressed, still addicted to work, boss or colleagues still giving you a hard time – well, you’re not alone.

Millions of people around the globe are fed up and making conscious effort to make some kind of change in their life, aware of growing concerns – disease, anger, violence, greed, narcissism, attitudes of undeserved entitlement, etc. Yet 90% of these wonderful souls are unconscious of the reverse affect their own wasteful thinking has on their wanted outcome. Unaware of the self sabotage that’s taking place within, they become more ‘dangerous’ than those living in ignorant bliss. With a consequent result of ‘what’s the point, it doesn’t work’, they start to believe they are weak and unable to change. Denying their own frustrations now turned to bitterness, they begin to point the finger elsewhere and rationalise their own behavior as ‘everybody does it’. The very thing they are aiming for – self empowerment – slips further from their grasp as they start to conform to the negativity of the world. Of course, none of this is rational – how do I know? Because I had to take a good look into the mirror of my own heart and admit that I did it too!

So how do I make change that lasts without repeatedly revisiting that unwanted place of irrationality and blame, of insecurity, self doubt and fear? How do I really become part of the solution, rather than remain part of the ever-increasing problems in the world? How do I change my thought patterns, my habits and addictions?… It starts with checking what I truly believe about myself, about others and about the world – so honesty is essential. It starts deep within, with really becoming aware of the thoughts I’m creating – no matter how uncomfortable or confronting – because no-one else creates my thoughts, only ME! My thoughts are the basis of my belief system and my belief system becomes the fertiliser for my thoughts! I must challenge myself in this way on a regular basis or change will prove fruitless as I start judging others. Not only will I begin to expect others to change first, but I remain a victim – a victim of circumstance, a victim of attitude, a victim of self recrimination – while everyone around me (including myself) continue to suffer because of it!

So lets make some real change – change that is permanent – baring in mind that change is a process, not instant. Lets start with one conscious step, then another and another. Lets apply the ‘Conscious Competence’ model of learning – which goes as follows:

* Unconscious Incompetence = Not even knowing what I don’t know (ignorance)
* Conscious Incompetence = Being aware of what I don’t know (awakening)
* Conscious Competence = Applying what I know but still have to make conscious effort (like learning to dance while in your head you count out 123, 123, 123)
* Unconscious Competence = My new self-empowered attitude has become 2nd nature and I don’t need to ‘count it out’ any more. My thoughts and beliefs have changed permanently and there’s no going back!

Question: Are you still doing the same thing you were doing last year? (same unanswered questions, same situations, same complications, same… same… same…)

Consideration: Without pointing the finger anywhere else, without justifying or rationalising – why do you think nothing has changed?

Activity: I’ve mentioned this action before, but personally I find it really works when I consistently practice it… Consistency and honesty are key! Get yourself a small diary that you can carry around. Each time you catch yourself, write down any behaviors that are holding you back (otherwise you forget) – this is known as ‘Checking and Changing’. Your attitude towards life is what moves you forward or keeps you stuck. The action of writing it down is to ‘check’ yourself, you must then apply action to ‘change’ yourself – your thinking, your beliefs about any situation, your habits, your attitude – no matter how others behave! Only ‘checking’ is pointless without the necessary change, because you start to believe that you are weak and unable to change. Continue this daily, even hourly, to become Unconsciously Competent in your life 🙂

Love Annemarie

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